General Zod in 2008

America Asks Zod

America Ask The General



Is preemptive military action against Iran feasible, or are its nuclear facilities too dispersed and hardened? What would you do other than accept Iran as a nuclear power?
- Martin Eeger
Raleigh, N.C.


General Zod replies:Silence, you meddling mortal. We start in our own back yard by demolishing our own nuclear weapons stockpile. Then Iran will hand theirs over. I truly believe we can use them to collapse the moon. Our moon on Krypton would surely have withstood such a barrage. Not yours, I regret.


These gas prices are out of control, man. I had to pay $57 the other day to fill up my Cadillac Escalade Accessories. What are you gonna do about that?
- Dave Medigenas
Chicago, IL


General Zod replies:Silence your ravings or my first duty as President will be to send you to the salt mines. This is the price you pay for your $32,000 SUV. You knew what you were getting into when you bought it. I suggest that you get a smaller car so that you can fatten your bank account for my eventual pillaging.

Mr. Zod, will there be lots of toys when you are President?
- Katie Vargas
Spokane, WA


General Zod replies:Child, let me explain something quite important to you. Under my new order, I allow you to live. In return for your obedience, you enjoy my generous protection. I expect tribute. Your tricycle, your dolls, everything you own. All these you will gladly give to me. All swear allegience to Zod!
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